Hey Dildorinos! Big Equensu Ocha here. What a week 1! Kundrat proving that he drafts better teams when he’s not 8 tequilas deep. Doodilies squeak one out with BWH and Danny Berk looking rusty. Both hat tricks coming from two new ringers, 8 shots on net from the Mourning Quikies, and Groundskeepers going kilts-out against the Soilers. But the biggest statement has to be Clown Car winning The Inside Info Bowl vs Disco Inferno, big shocker but probably better times ahead for Stu and pals. Time to see if Willy and Krusty bring the pain for 4th period from that 7:20 slot, it’s time for the early games to hit the stands and heckle from above like the dark lord intended.