Mr. Conductor checking in! Decent heckle last night:
Visors vs Glovesy got nice and ugly, it was like Hackwood’s wet dream out there. Hockey Bob threw a good clean hit on George W Bushka, which was especially remarkable in that he wasn’t already crawling around on the ice like a 1950’s kid picking up marbles. The no-call led to Shoupy losing his shit, pretty sure he had a white anger-beard pop out like a beautiful puffin. Abrams added to the mayhem with his special brand of joyless hustle and patented Greggy-Lou dives that the ref wasn’t having. H-Bob thought they legalized boarding but finally got wrung up on 3 for $1, with bargain bin prices like that why not cripple the team when you’re down a goal with three to go. Also Team Orange seems to have a Fake Chewy, slightly smaller than the real deal but even more fleet afoot. We need to nail down a quality nickname there.

Soulglows vs Jorts was some great soccer – 1-0 through two periods and real plays going on, you hate to see it. Dom fell apart after flinching during a Varsity Frain clapper to end the 2nd. JV Frain started breastfeeding his bunk mate some looks and he pumped them home after missing 4 times first just to send a message. Pretty much all Soulglow all game, making Gerbil Essence of the denim dongs. Speaking of, I washed my hair this morning but it still reeks of bacon, I need some porn-level shampoo to get all that hog juice off my dome.