It came down to the final night of the season but the playoff seeds are now set.
- Hoseheads
- Shaefer
- Wood Ducks
- Flyers
- Wetas (Wetas won head-to-head vs. Stones)
- Rolling Stones
- Pork Roll (Won three way tie breaker (head-to-head) vs. Rams and Murphy’s)
- Rams (Won tiebreaker vs. Murphy’s (head-to-head))
- Murphy’s
- North Stars
Playoffs start Monday night with:
9 pm: Pork Roll (7) vs North Stars (10)
10:35 pm: Rams (8) vs Murphy’s (9)
Shaefer – Lock it up – As many goals as the day is long and a goalie who is well versed in letting up just enough goals for the other team to think they have a shot but then rips their heart out at the end of the day with a nice Chest Protector save.
Deep Anus here, meeting anonymously in a shady secluded parking lot to leak intel and make predictions:
(10) Peter North Stars over (7) Fork Roll by 1 – this will be a nail biter between the two most disappointing teams in the league, as they battle to see who can lay a bigger shit burger with a side of ‘Ol Dippy drippins’.
(9) Murphy’s over (8) Rams by 46 – the Yams are really disheveled right now, so count on the Baer party getting an extra fat, extra hairy, just-got-out-of-prison level creampie from Eddleman’s League of Extraordinarily Retarded Gentlemen.
(10) North Stars over (1) Hoseheads by 1 – the Hosers have had an easy time of it this year, so this looks like the classic letdown, not to mention the annual rite of Summer known as the “PiskAppearance”.
(2) Shavers over (10) Muffy’s by 2 – bring your milk duds for this one, and expect 7 points apiece from Brady and not-a-first-round-pick Eddleman. NoSocks will be under siege all night, leaving his calves relatively warm. 9-7 sounds about right.
(3) Rolling Stones over (6) Wood Ducks by 1 – complete toss-up: we could see 5-goal games on either side, dildos, shutouts, but my gut tells me the Stones D will be the difference. The only certainties are jorts, and CryBaby bitching about everything.
(5) WetAss over (4) Flyers by 4 – Schoupie and Anus Burns will shut down the defending most-hated player, White Wang aka Babyak. He has earned my respect by returning this season, but he won’t be able to carry Feder (or his 80 lb bag of Cheetos), Evil Flood, and “2nd Assist” Bettman to victory.
(5) WetAss over (10) N Stars by 2 – Pete McGroin will predictably be a no-show so that he can hire the Beebs to play for 3 of his 85 kids’ birthday parties, but as usual his team will win without him in order to set up the shittiest possible championship matchup. Big White will play like he has AIDS after some AM tequila.
(2) Shavers over (6) Rolling Stones by 2 – firepower out the ass, but Becker, formerly the only credible ref in our entire league, will make the difference on the 2nd line. CryBaby will act like a total quief yet again. He’s a dick.
(2) Schaefer over (5) WetAss by 5 – the usual lopsided championship. Pete McGroin will join over Skype, but it won’t make a difference. The Schaefer win will be tainted when Predator accidentally punches in the real code on his wristband, killing 42 people. But no DUIs!
-Deep Anus
I can’t even get in on that…well done Mr. Anus…even if I don’t agree with your predickshons, I don’t want to f up your work.
And in all of that poppycock, “2nd assist Bettman” is the clear cut, under the radar zinger worthy of being brought to the forefront.
What up Anuses!
*roaring round of applause.
Nicely done!
As proven the last 2 playoffs…Nobody wants a piece of “Eddleman’s League of Extraordinarily Retarded Gentlemen”
Eddleman, get off of the computer and put out a fire, will ya?
Thats not me bro, but “extraordinarily league of retarted gentleman” is perfect, almost spit out my cereal. “2nd assist Bettman” is `pretty spot on too. Nice work.
“extraordinarily league of retarted gentleman” … what he said, spot on.
All we know is, what we know.
I’m pretty convinced that not 1 of your predictions will be accurate. I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul.
who is CryBaby on the Stones? they have the best shot
96