Right winger Dan Gunning of the Wyndmoor Wood Ducks has been suspended by team officials from Thursday night and Sunday morning hockey effective immediately. The suspension follows a string of multiple goals games by the gritty winger during the Thursday and Sunday contest while his performance during the WSL no back check league has tanked. The official ruling from the Wood Ducks front office is expected later today but team asshole Mark Jenkins did release this statement concerning the disciplinary actions:

“We simply feel that Danny’s exemplary performance should be saved for league games….the ones that put food on his family’s table. We encourage most of our player to participate in the non-league scrimmages in an attempt to look like we know our ass’s from a hole in the ground during game day. Gunny’s situation is a unique case. Just like the squeaky wheel needs the oil, Iraq needs the bomb, society does not need wood ducks and hockey Bob needs a shower….we need Danny to show up come go time.”

On a side note the suspension handed down by team officials does not include the 4th period and that Dan Gunning and his grilling skills are always welcome.

Who did you bill all the time to write that up to?